No Excuses

I have no excuses for not blogging other than I am dog tired and really busy. I'll put up pictures from my Memorial Day Softball tourney soon and some great pics of the little ones...

BUT! I found this today and I want to share:

Things NOT to say to a military Spouse or Girlfriend!



1. “Aren’t you afraid that he’ll be killed?”

(This one ranks in at number one on the “duh” list. Of course we’re afraid. We’re terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds —but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they’re scared of dying.)



2. “I don’t know how you manage. I don’t think I could do it.”

(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here’s why: it’s not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we’d get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We’re not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)



3. “At least he’s not in Iraq .”

(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there.)



4. “Do you think he’ll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?”

(Don’t you watch the news? No! They don’t get to come home for any of these things. Please don’t ask again.)



5. “What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he’s gone?”

(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there’s a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don’t get bored.)



6. “How much longer does he have until he can get out?”

(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren’t counting down the days until they “can” get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)



7. “This deployment shouldn’t be so bad, now that you’re used to it.”

(Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you’ve gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. And we figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets “easy” and the bullets and bombs don’t skip over our guys just because they’ve been there before. The worry never goes away.)



8. “My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you’re going through.”

(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband’s three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a ford taurus with mercedes convertible.)



9. “Wow you must miss him?”

(This one also gets another big “duh”. Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they’re now divorced.)



10. “Where is he exactly? Where is that?”

(I don’t expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it’s in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they’re on the news every night and in the papers every day —and on maps everywhere.)



11. “Well, he signed up for it, so it’s his own fault whatever happens over there.

(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn’t sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that “You’re welcome.” He’s still fighting for your freedom.)



12. “Don’t you miss sex! I couldn’t do it!”

(hmmm, no i don’t miss sex. i’m a robot. Seriously…military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn’t withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)



13. “Well in my opinion…..”

(Stop right there. Yo, I didn’t ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a bar when I’m out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we’re trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.)



last but not least….



14. “OH, that’s horrible…I’m so sorry!”

(He’s doing his job and he’s a badass. Don’t be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our service members fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)



If you want to say anything, say thank you. After all, we are sexually deprived for your freedom.

Update

Well, I got to speak with David for a few minutes yesterday afternoon. He is really busy most days and is ready to come back home. Life is still better than it was the last time he was there but there is no place like home.
He got to talk to Dayden too. She was so cute. She grabs the phone and immediately says "HELLO DADDY!" The minute she hears his voice she lights up. She LOVES talking to him on the phone. This time she sang the alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. Actually, she sang the Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star four times and got louder and louder each time. It was the funniest thing ever. She was so proud to show Daddy what she can do. (It made us both bawl tear up though...it's hard for him to miss all this...) She will literally kiss the phone and try and hug it! She makes the "Hmmm-Uh" sound we all make when we hug. It's really funny.
Well, he gets to eat 3 meals a day and gets to sleep on a "bed" so he tells me he is "Good to go!" Guess they get used to no luxuries.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER!

Happy Birthday Devin! I hope you have an incredible day.

Growing up, I did everything in my power to do the complete opposite of you. I gave you the hardest time when we were younger and for no apparent reason (guess I was evil?). I know you dreaded the times Mom left you in charge because that's when I would really give you heck.

Man, I really wish I had paid more attention and listened to your sisterly advice.

You have accomplished so much from the day you were "dethroned" and had to share Mom and Dad. Thank you for always being there-especially when I made it so hard for you. I realize, now, that all I really wanted was to be just like you (but would have NEVER admitted it). Thank you for being the best big sister a little sister could ever ask for!!


p.s. Thank you for marrying Jimmy...because I still have nightmares of the 7th grade when he would kiss me on the cheek in the lunchroom and tell everyone that if you didn't marry him, he was gonna marry me!! I really believed that, you know!!

Happy Birthday Naunnie!!

Happy Birthday Naunnie!! We love you and miss you!!

Table Talk

At the dinner table last night...

Ashlyn (8): Mom, when you and David die...
Mom: (Gasp!) What!! Where are you going with this?
Bailey (10): MOM...she means like in 300 centuries.
Mom: Bailey, do you know how much a century is?
Bailey: Ummm...no.
Mom: A century is 100 years! We will all be gone in 300 centuries!!
Bailey: No...we will have everlasting life.
Mom: Well, I certainly hope so, but that's after our human bodies die.
Ashlyn: Uh-huh, Bailey. After.
Mom: As long as you continue to make good choices that is...otherwise it's gonna be H-E double hockey sticks...
Dayden (22 months): Momma-Dat (That) BAD WORD!!
Mom: OMG! How does she know that I spelled a bad word?? She's way too smart for this family!
Bailey (while he and Ashlyn are laughing hysterically): Our family is funnier than cable TV.
Mom: That's so funny Bailey. Where did you pick that up from?
Bailey: Hannah Montana
Mom: (sigh)

Mother's Day Treasures

Bailey (10) and Ashlyn (8) did a wonderful job on their Mother's Day gifts. Dayden (22 months) also worked really hard on hers. Anita (we lovingly call her Granny) is Dayden's "daycare provider" during the work week. As you can see she is a very talented person and has such a creative mind. Granny and Paula ( Anita's daughter) always makes sure we are all taken care of. Thanks to everyone for an excellent Mother's Day!!

Birthday Wishes for David

Happy Birthday David!!

I wish I could throw my arms around you and give you a BIG birthday hug. I hope that you have a GREAT day despite the fact that you are fighting in a war!! I missed the first 30 or so years of your life but I can guarantee you that I won't miss the next 30!

The kids all send birthday wishes and are promising to carry out the birthday "spanking" tradition when you get home. (That should be fun to watch!)

Thank you so much for being the wonderful husband/father you are. I look forward to spending many, many more birthdays with you...

Stay safe and I LOVE YOU!

p.s. COME HOME SOON!!!!

My little author...

His signed copy stays in the library.
Look at the crowd!

Yesterday we were able to celebrate with Bailey at the Patriot Press Authors Reception. The Patriot Press is a program at Bailey's school that allows students to turn in original manuscripts, then work with a volunteer parent editor through the editing/publishing process. The books are bound into hardcover & are actually available for library checkout until the student graduates from 6th grade.This was Bailey's first year to submit a manuscript....he wrote about a Foohy (which is a popular pencil top character). Super Foohy gets hit by a meteor shower & ends up with all kinds of super powers that allow him to help others! :) Yesterday at the reception all of the authors did a book signing & greeted their fans (for Bailey, it was Libby, Dad, Ashlyn & me). He definitely enjoyed having the spotlight & was very proud of his achievement! (Ashlyn did a book last year....but not this year....although she's FULL of stories!)

My Mom by Ashlyn Rea

Ashlyn reading about someone's mom.
The students are very excited to see if Mom can guess the right one!
Ashlyn served Libby and me Oreos and Pink Lemonade. Yum!!

Today we had Mother's Day Tea (well, really it was pink lemonade) in Ashlyn's class. Here are some of her answers to a questionnaire she completed about me. ( I didn't change the spelling/grammar so you could get the whole effect.) Each student read someone else's questionnaire and the moms in the room had to guess who the student was reading about. They also drew a picture on the backside of the paper to help give clues...It was very cute and there were some really funny answers.

Her favorite thing to do is: do crossword puzzals, and be on the computer.

Her favorite food is: Mcdonalds and other Fast foods.


Her favorite thing to watch is: Grey natamy, Desprate Hous wifes and GAC music video country countdown, Numbers cold case csi las.vegas.


She likes to listen to: Racol Flats and other stations like Radio disney, Kiss FM and other country music.


She is very proud of me when I: Make good grades and helps with the baby.


I love her very much because: she lets me take care of the baby like I will when I grow up and be a mommy.



********************************************************************


"What my Mom means to me!"

by: Ashlyn Martin



Mom you are very specail to me bcause you take good care of me you help and have very talented skill. I know that Bailey, Dayden, Daylee, Dacie and I all love you more than anything. You do alot of thing for me!


Love,

Ashlyn Rea!

Tick. Tock.

As of right now, at 9:20am, there are 8,260,958.3 seconds until David leaves his camp in Iraq.

I know what you are thinking, but no, I did not figure this out on my own. Actually, some "very ready to come home" Marine in David's camp made a ticker as soon as they got any sort of date of when they should be heading back home. I try to wait for several days before checking it so I can pretend lots of time has passed!

How sad am I??

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Sabotager

Okay, I'll admit that I feel so much better since I have been working out. I have more energy, I'm definitely stronger, and the "me" time is very much appreciated. But one of my "target" areas is not really changing. I mean, it is, but it isn't. The whole mid section that stretches out to an unthinkable size during pregnancy has not returned to it's pre pregnancy position.



I am so frustrated.

I don't work on that area every night, but after learning that the "problem" isn't lack of muscle...I'm so disappointed.

It's diet. DIET!! I don't diet.

I'm the fast food queen and NOTHING is better to me than a #1 at McDonald's, a #8 at Whataburger or a #5 at Chick-Fil-A. Seriously, my friends, I could eat a hamburger and fries e-v-e-r-y day!!! (You know it's true Helen!) Just ask anyone that knows me. I am sabotaging all my hard work!! Ugh! (sniff-sniff)



What am I to do? I'm sure if I saved all the money I spent on eating out I could probably employ one of those food services like that Seattle Sutton lady from TV. Really, I probably would lose weight because she scares me and I would be afraid to eat her food.



Oh (sigh), I sure wish my father would point those balloons this way...because he would make my breakfast, lunch and dinner. (Right Dad?!) One more thing: this is the only topic/issue that really makes me think that time is moving too quickly before David comes home.

Sorry...

... for not updating since the weekend. Dayden has been sick and is finally feeling better. She went to the doctor yesterday and Aunt Mel got to be her nurse! She was thrilled (I think they both were). She was the best patient ever. Especially since Aunt Mel gave her 3 suckers instead of 1!!!!

More weekend pics

I picked a flower for Mommy and put it in my trunk...
Bailey loves to play ball-no matter what color it is!
Ashlyn never misses a chance to steal the camera. Looks like her brother was ready for the shot this time. Notice the "horn" growing out of her head!
Ashlyn also lost another tooth!
"Dayden do it Mommy!"

No Plans Today!!

A little bright out today...
Going shoppin'

Can you say "bed head"?? Looks like the hair monster found Dayden last night!!


I decided to take the weekend off. As in no big plans. I didn't even put on makeup today. I did take a few pictures...and I did shopping for David's birthday. It's kinda hard to find a gift that I can send to Iraq that will mean something and not seem cheezy...oh well, once I know he gets it I'll let you know what we got him.

Time is Standing Still

Well, we have somewhere around 3-4months left. I can't tell you exactly, because I don't know exactly. I can tell you that David should be back in the states by September. There is a LOT of planning, travel and debriefing that will go on and even if I had a date it would change 100 times before he actually leaves there and gets here...as in home...like in our house.

For some reason, time is standing still. It feels like we were moving right along and all of a sudden I hit a brick wall. It feels like everything is in super s-l-o-w----m-o and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because we have hit a midway point on his actual time in in the sand box. I thought that once we got to this point I would start to feel rushed and hurried because I haven't accomplished all that I had hoped to while he is gone. (New body, new decor throughout the house, debt free, new body-or did I already say that?) Or maybe because I am SO READY for him to be home I just think it's slowed down. I don't know. Is it because the days are longer, literally, with the time change? Is it because Dayden just keeps getting older and smarter and is advancing so quickly with everything and I am so upset he has missed so many of her milestones? Maybe it's just because I have had it in my mind so long that once we reached this point time would race past and the day would be here.

It's like when your pregnant

and you feel-SO-pregnant

and all you want is for the baby to be out, and to have your body back, but you know your baby isn't really ready to be born, but everyone around you is skinny and you can't sit right and (take a deep breath) your ankles are the size of tree stumps and you breathe like that scary creepy guy Devin talks about and none of your maternity clothes fit anymore and (sigh heavily and take one more breath...) you're really tired of the granny panties and so sick of everyone asking..."how much longer do you have???!".

(Now take a really, really deep breath.)

I'm in a hurry up and wait/holding pattern and it's making me NUTS.

Beautiful Poem

Anonymous left a comment on my last post to check out this poem on Kiddlive.com. I'm not sure who Anonymous is but I would like to and I want to thank you for introducing me to this poem. It made me cry...

Poem for Soldiers Wives

Quite Hero

She wakes very early, he’s leaving today
She will stand tall and proud as he’s walking away.
He glances back warmly at his children and wife,
Knowing they will bravely carry on with their life.
Her strength and her courage only one understands,
He is walking away with her heart in his hands.
For he knows that without it he would be lost,
But they both know freedom comes at any cost.
She walks away holding her children so close,
Swallowing tears for the one she loves most.
This quiet hero does not walk into war,
She soldiers on behind her front door.
She will move through her life the wind at her back,
Determined to keep her family on track.
Her tears fall in silence while she lies in her bed,
Her fear is right there but nothing is said.
She will ask that no medals be pinned to her chest,
Her husband’s safe return her only request.
Few understand her commitment, her life,
She’s the quiet hero, the brave Soldier’s wife.

Kathleen Mills
Jan, 05