Ready or not..here I go!!

Let me just start by saying...whew!

Last night was quite a mess.

Let's start with the drive home, which was quite entertaining because I had a great conversation with my BFF Helen. She always has me laughing about something. When we hung up I started to create a checklist in my head of all the things I need to do prior to my trip. Call the dog sitter, pack Dayden's things, copy insurance card, update medical consent to treat, pack camera (don't forget to pack camera), get nails done, tan, go by ATM for cash, buy new wall charger for cell (dog ate it), print out itinerary, pack list of items David has requested, pack camera (i really don't want to forget my camera), and the list goes on and on. I was well prepared with which items to tackle first once I got home.

Enter home.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT is that horrific smell?? WHAT on God's green earth has died and decayed in my home in the last 9 hours??

Duece-the dog. Apparently he had some massive diarrhea that couldn't be held in. I have no idea why or when. But, I can certainly tell you where. He is kenneled during the day (THANK GOD!) and he was literally sitting in poop water. It was splattered all over my wall where his kennel sits. It had run over the floor of the kennel and had completely soaked my carpet. He was soaked and stained from it. He was hunkered down with his tail tucked because he knew the wrath was about to begin.

All I can say is...good thing David wasn't home...

It took almost 2 hours to clean it all. I had to clean the carpet, clean the kennel, clean the dog, clean the tub I washed the dog in. Clean the ENTIRE bathroom I washed the dog in. Threw away the towels used in the process and sterilized the ones I kept. I cleaned the vacuum that I used to clean the carpet. (Note to self-need more gloves.) Sprayed tons Woolite Oxy action Pet Stain remover on the carpet, Febreezed, Lysoled, Scrubbing Bubbles, Clorox bleach..you name it. I used just about every cleaning product I could get my hands on. (add Clorox wipes to grocery list).

And that, my friends, was just the beginning.

My neighbor came by at 9:15pm to let me know that some kids broke light bulbs in our alley behind our homes. So, I was outside in the alley sweeping fluorescent bulb matter up. My neighbor and her husband helped me get it up and they talked with the police. I went back inside praying that I could finally sit down and eat something.

Yeah-right. Not long after I finally settled down long enough to think about my checklist, the weatherman had breaking news about severe weather and it was headed in my direction.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! I have things to do!! Dayden is fast asleep and the dog is back in his kennel and all I want is 10 minutes to relax!!!!!!!

Well, suffice it to say that Dayden and I were in the bathroom for about 20 minutes while the sirens went off, the TV went out, and the storm passed with little incident. (Thank you to Libby and Lisa who called to check on me!)

Okay, Dayden's back to bed. The dog is back in his kennel. The rain has stopped. The TV is working again and it's about 10:30pm.

Cue phone...it's David. "What's up, Baby?"

Really?! I cannot post the contents of our conversation as I'm sure Blogger will ban me from any further posts.

All I can say is that I am so thankful that I will be in California tomorrow and will spend 3 nights and 4 days with my husband and no kids and no dog.

Did I mention that the forecast for California is rain for 4 days?? Ugh. Oh well..

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!!!!!

Oh my...

Ashlyn (9): "Hey Dayden! What did you do today?"
Dayden (2.5): "Umm, I tooted!"

And the laughter erupted.

Nice.