No Excuses

I have no excuses for not blogging other than I am dog tired and really busy. I'll put up pictures from my Memorial Day Softball tourney soon and some great pics of the little ones...

BUT! I found this today and I want to share:

Things NOT to say to a military Spouse or Girlfriend!



1. “Aren’t you afraid that he’ll be killed?”

(This one ranks in at number one on the “duh” list. Of course we’re afraid. We’re terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds —but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they’re scared of dying.)



2. “I don’t know how you manage. I don’t think I could do it.”

(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here’s why: it’s not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we’d get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We’re not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)



3. “At least he’s not in Iraq .”

(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there.)



4. “Do you think he’ll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?”

(Don’t you watch the news? No! They don’t get to come home for any of these things. Please don’t ask again.)



5. “What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he’s gone?”

(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there’s a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don’t get bored.)



6. “How much longer does he have until he can get out?”

(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren’t counting down the days until they “can” get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)



7. “This deployment shouldn’t be so bad, now that you’re used to it.”

(Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you’ve gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. And we figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets “easy” and the bullets and bombs don’t skip over our guys just because they’ve been there before. The worry never goes away.)



8. “My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you’re going through.”

(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband’s three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a ford taurus with mercedes convertible.)



9. “Wow you must miss him?”

(This one also gets another big “duh”. Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they’re now divorced.)



10. “Where is he exactly? Where is that?”

(I don’t expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it’s in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they’re on the news every night and in the papers every day —and on maps everywhere.)



11. “Well, he signed up for it, so it’s his own fault whatever happens over there.

(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn’t sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that “You’re welcome.” He’s still fighting for your freedom.)



12. “Don’t you miss sex! I couldn’t do it!”

(hmmm, no i don’t miss sex. i’m a robot. Seriously…military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn’t withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)



13. “Well in my opinion…..”

(Stop right there. Yo, I didn’t ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a bar when I’m out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we’re trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.)



last but not least….



14. “OH, that’s horrible…I’m so sorry!”

(He’s doing his job and he’s a badass. Don’t be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our service members fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)



If you want to say anything, say thank you. After all, we are sexually deprived for your freedom.

Update

Well, I got to speak with David for a few minutes yesterday afternoon. He is really busy most days and is ready to come back home. Life is still better than it was the last time he was there but there is no place like home.
He got to talk to Dayden too. She was so cute. She grabs the phone and immediately says "HELLO DADDY!" The minute she hears his voice she lights up. She LOVES talking to him on the phone. This time she sang the alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. Actually, she sang the Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star four times and got louder and louder each time. It was the funniest thing ever. She was so proud to show Daddy what she can do. (It made us both bawl tear up though...it's hard for him to miss all this...) She will literally kiss the phone and try and hug it! She makes the "Hmmm-Uh" sound we all make when we hug. It's really funny.
Well, he gets to eat 3 meals a day and gets to sleep on a "bed" so he tells me he is "Good to go!" Guess they get used to no luxuries.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER!

Happy Birthday Devin! I hope you have an incredible day.

Growing up, I did everything in my power to do the complete opposite of you. I gave you the hardest time when we were younger and for no apparent reason (guess I was evil?). I know you dreaded the times Mom left you in charge because that's when I would really give you heck.

Man, I really wish I had paid more attention and listened to your sisterly advice.

You have accomplished so much from the day you were "dethroned" and had to share Mom and Dad. Thank you for always being there-especially when I made it so hard for you. I realize, now, that all I really wanted was to be just like you (but would have NEVER admitted it). Thank you for being the best big sister a little sister could ever ask for!!


p.s. Thank you for marrying Jimmy...because I still have nightmares of the 7th grade when he would kiss me on the cheek in the lunchroom and tell everyone that if you didn't marry him, he was gonna marry me!! I really believed that, you know!!

Happy Birthday Naunnie!!

Happy Birthday Naunnie!! We love you and miss you!!

Table Talk

At the dinner table last night...

Ashlyn (8): Mom, when you and David die...
Mom: (Gasp!) What!! Where are you going with this?
Bailey (10): MOM...she means like in 300 centuries.
Mom: Bailey, do you know how much a century is?
Bailey: Ummm...no.
Mom: A century is 100 years! We will all be gone in 300 centuries!!
Bailey: No...we will have everlasting life.
Mom: Well, I certainly hope so, but that's after our human bodies die.
Ashlyn: Uh-huh, Bailey. After.
Mom: As long as you continue to make good choices that is...otherwise it's gonna be H-E double hockey sticks...
Dayden (22 months): Momma-Dat (That) BAD WORD!!
Mom: OMG! How does she know that I spelled a bad word?? She's way too smart for this family!
Bailey (while he and Ashlyn are laughing hysterically): Our family is funnier than cable TV.
Mom: That's so funny Bailey. Where did you pick that up from?
Bailey: Hannah Montana
Mom: (sigh)

Mother's Day Treasures

Bailey (10) and Ashlyn (8) did a wonderful job on their Mother's Day gifts. Dayden (22 months) also worked really hard on hers. Anita (we lovingly call her Granny) is Dayden's "daycare provider" during the work week. As you can see she is a very talented person and has such a creative mind. Granny and Paula ( Anita's daughter) always makes sure we are all taken care of. Thanks to everyone for an excellent Mother's Day!!

Birthday Wishes for David

Happy Birthday David!!

I wish I could throw my arms around you and give you a BIG birthday hug. I hope that you have a GREAT day despite the fact that you are fighting in a war!! I missed the first 30 or so years of your life but I can guarantee you that I won't miss the next 30!

The kids all send birthday wishes and are promising to carry out the birthday "spanking" tradition when you get home. (That should be fun to watch!)

Thank you so much for being the wonderful husband/father you are. I look forward to spending many, many more birthdays with you...

Stay safe and I LOVE YOU!

p.s. COME HOME SOON!!!!